January 2012
1 post
5 tags
I really want to say these to your face, but...
I don’t want to be your friend anymore.
Actually, tell me, why the fuck should I stay friends with you if all you do is make fun of me in front of other people at dinner at lunch?
Oh my god, all those meals and get-togethers that you drag me to. They are just like your one-man circus show where you are the man of the hour and I am the monkey.
What the fuck do I get from this relationship...
November 2011
2 posts
7 tags
It Feels Weird at the Moment Being Chinese
Recently I have been a diligent news reader, following both The Guardian and the Wall Street Journal, and isn’t there an awful lot of news about China.
Latest has it that the US is reasserting its economic and military presence in Asia-Pacific to supposedly stand off China’s increasing influence and potential threat to other countries in the same region.
I can understand the other...
5 tags
Down streak
Academically, I just realized that I haven’t been able to turn up any good work since I was in England, and that was 10 months ago.
I checked my grades, and they are kind of bleak.
I checked how I did in my french exam, which I like the language and had spent quite some time reviewing with some very sincere dedication. It is a rather disappointing 82 out of 100.
At this point a part of...
October 2011
1 post
6 tags
High School Reunion Afterthought
I feel like I am drifting away from my old high school friends and classmates, and I am not feeling as bad or sad as I probably should.
They are most of them shooting off into the booming economy of the country working for big financial institutions as accountants or investment bankers, while I, along with a few others, go off to be linguists, historians, or theologians specializing in Tibetan...
September 2011
2 posts
4 tags
My Talking Cure
What is there to life anyway? If the validation from the outside world starts crumbling and becomes all of a sudden uncertain, and you thus become even incredulous of who you are and what you are made of?
Life somehow is subsequently reduced to sex, everything about it. The thought of sex, the visuals, the tentative acts of it on my own body, then suddenly halted because I have simply given it...
5 tags
A Nightmare
I increasingly think that despite all the good grades and every appearance of a good student, I am actually stupid as fuck, be it intelligence or otherwise.
August 2011
13 posts
3 tags
A Bientôt.
Francis, Je m’en vais bientôt
et je pense très très fort à toi.
11 tags
由一件事情想到的......
Apologies to those who cannot read Chinese. The title roughly translates as “thoughts on an incident”, which, if you grew up in mainland China, is a most popular essay title for elementary school writing tests. I decided to use the original Chinese because it feels to me like a very distinctive and therefore untranslatable Chinese sort of title.
The Incident
I was killing some time...
8 tags
An Easy Dilemma
In three days I am leaving Xi’an for Beijing as Senior Year of college begins in early September, and once again I am depressed about leaving.
The pattern is really dead-set and bizarre at the same time: I just hate leaving places, either from Beijing or Xi’an (except for from England I have to say. When I was leaving there I was definitely at least over 40 per cent happy so it...
6 tags
Confession of the day
She was my friend for ten years. I thought it was going to be for life.
Then one day she thought she was in love with me.
The next second I somehow decided to cut her off.
It has since been a year and three months.
And I obviously do not feel guilty about this enough.
Because I am still happy and content as anytime.
5 tags
Recap: Linguistics and Everything Else
So I think this would be a good time to reflect on my past two weeks of crazy learning of linguistics and how the exam turned out, as well as little things that have surfaced in my consciousness recently.
The two-week revision period isn’t as butt-clenching-ly intense as I’d imagined. After 3 or 4 days of crashing through the “grammar” section everything else (that...
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“Youth is a blunder; manhood a struggle; old age a regret.”
– That’s got to be the saddest thing I heard today (so far).
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Crash Course Linguistics
I am applying for a master’s programme in linguistics in a uni in HongKong and the written test is on the 19th of this month. Yesterday I got an email from the admission people informing me that the test is on linguistics, which for the love of the effing god I have never taken a single course on - the only linguistics course we have so far in the uni curriculum is in the second semester of...
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Incidents of the Day
Today two sets of parents have brought their college-aged kids to my home to ask me the million-dollar golden question of “How do you learn English”.
One is a boy just out of high school and going to college this September. Once the door shut his dad and my dad out of earshot and sight, he jumped onto my beloved one-man sofa like he’s jumped onto it for a millionth time already...
July 2011
12 posts
7 tags
Discovery from my listener email.
Last week I sent in my first email as a listener to my favorite podcast Too Beautiful to Live (abbreviated as ‘TBTL’. If anyone happens to be reading this, go check it out. It’s meta). Each week they have this listener mail time where, as the name suggests, they go over some of the emails submitted by listeners that are in any way relavent to the show, and the cool thing is today...
6 tags
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WatchJust Some Damn Good Songs
5 tags
Juggling
Things that I want to do all on a plate, but not a lot of time to cater to all:
Learn textbook French well enough to get a shockingly high mark on the test in September.
Learn Final Cut Pro well enough in a month to do some real creative work for this film and journalism teacher of mine.
Get the job drawing exemplary illustrations for English words and enjoy working on it. (Still haven’t...
6 tags
8Tracks.com →
Music is soooo awesome there that it sends me right through to ADHD.
8 tags
Got wifi in my room
Finally the uni gets wifi all around the campus and I immediately fired up my iPod touch in my dorm room. Now I find that I can concentrate more reading tumblr blogs on this tiny little screen even though the relatively bigger though not big enough laptop screen is out there.
June 2011
1 post
3 tags
Who am I?
Recent events in my life have propelled me to ponder a very tricky question in the shaping of my person: is it the time in my life where I stop picking bits and pieces from the experiences of others in a hope of morphing the best of them into what is supposedly the ultimate bestest-of-the-best version that is my supposedly ‘idealized self’, and actually start pruning those various...
May 2011
4 posts
Last days
First tumble blog in Leicester (and probably the last…)
Wildest...
Probably the wildest dream that I have allowed myself the liberty: marrying Zachary Quinto someday lol…okay, I am officially sleep-deprived and wildly delusional.
April 2011
29 posts
3 tags
5 tags
Drinking stupid... →
still dunno why„,
Love how the show successfully conveys the moral ambiguity of this issue with different story lines. http://amplify.com/u/bzf1t
5 tags
Extreme Male Beauty →
Love how the show conveys the sense of ambiguity surrounding this issue.
“Religion: the easiest, fastest way back to what is essential in life.”
– Me
It wasn’t until my credit card was declined at the supermarket that I have come to realize how much I have spent in the short 15 days of Easter vacation here in England: a whopping 940 dollars. It is not like I have toured everywhere in England with the money. Just Manchester and Stratford up Avon. Now with 800 pounds under my belt and 30 something days to go..does it mean that I have to...
2 tags
Thoughts Viewing Bai's Photos
There is really something called ‘breaking out of one’s shell’, and there is really something called ‘just be yourself. Don’t be a type’. Sigh…I am confused if I should stick to my introverted, timid, insecure self to this current degree (which is letting go a little bit at times, especially when it is sunny, but far from enough to be called...
2 tags
Charity
Saw a young man in the street literally begging for money just off the railway station. Damn I should have given him a quid or so. I even kept looking back at him multiple times as I was walking away. Probably I need to shed more of my suspicion and cynism.
3 tags
China is...?
Reading the lives of the new Chinese socialites and business tycoons…I am feeling that China is really in a transitional place right now, well, at least the upper and middle part of it.
Credit Card
My credit card sucks…can’t buy train tickets with them online. Have to go to the station again.